


Profound Truth

by Astrid_B_Caine



Series: Secret Santa X-mas exchanges [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Action & Romance, Angel Wings, Angst, Awesome Benny, BAMF Castiel, Benny speaks French, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Castiel In Love, Friendship/Love, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Leviathans, M/M, Major Character Injury, Monsters, Non-Explicit Sex, POV Castiel, POV First Person, Protective Benny, Protective Castiel, Purgatory, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 20:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8728438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrid_B_Caine/pseuds/Astrid_B_Caine
Summary: Castiel finds something out he didn't want to know about Dean's relationship with Benny while trying to get out of Purgatory. He learns more about vampires, his own feelings and what being a good guardian angel really means.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kuwlshadow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuwlshadow/gifts).



> Made for the SPN J2 Secret Santa exchange on LiveJournal at: <http://spn-j2-xmas.livejournal.com/>. Thank you to all the mods there for creating this massive Christmas exchange!
> 
> This gift is for [Kuwlshadow](http://kuwlshadow.livejournal.com/24265.html):  
> It's been great meeting you this year and doing [a project](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8520289) together! Wishing you an awesome new year with much fandom frolic!
> 
> BIG thank you to my beta [EnderBerlyn!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/EnderBerlyn/)
> 
> BIG thank you also for checking Benny's French to [Airelle!](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Airelle)

I had so hoped Dean wouldn’t find me. But Dean was who he was, and he wouldn’t find a way out of this realm of suffering without ‘rescuing’ me first. I knew this, as I had heard his prayers every night. To ignore his call to me, night after night had torn at my innermost being, my celestial essence, but I had hoped that Dean would give up and leave me to my punishment.

Dean never gave up. He didn’t understand. I could not make him understand. So in the end, I had to let him find me.

In order to get him out, I had to fall in line, under his command, under his sense of ethics and morals. Dean was the Righteous Man and nothing would ever change that. He could not go against what his soul demanded of him. So I played along.

It looked like Benny had taken good care of Dean. I couldn’t condone their comradery, in principle, for Benny was a vampire, creature of the dark. But I could see that Dean was doing well, fighting every day, strong and bold. Benny’s presence had done him good. It had done more than just keep him alive. Dean depended on him and trusted him like a brother.

None of it sat well with me, but this was a land of danger, focus and reflection, and Dean’s friendship with Benny was part of the reality of my life here. I wasn’t here to feel good, to be comfortable, and least of all to be loved. I wasn’t here to observe them, either, but it proved hard for me to refrain from doing just that. While Dean insisted on us all standing together, I vowed to myself I would get him – them – safely out of Purgatory and then go back to my contemplation, my penance.

So I had to guard them both, until we found our way to the portal that Benny had promised and I could return Dean safely back to Earth.

During our days of travel and searching, there were times that I noticed a subtle gesture from Dean, followed by Benny’s almost imperceptible response. They would then quietly move outside of my radius of sight and hearing, and not too much later, they would return. At first I thought it was a hunt of some sort that they didn’t want to involve me in. But my senses were keener than Dean’s, and it became clear there was a lack of danger in the direction that they disappeared to, each and every time.

So today, I decided to follow them.

I stayed behind a flurry of color-bleached bushes, in case my presence was a danger to them, whatever they were fighting. But they were not fighting.

I shouldn’t have followed them.

Dean’s sounds of pleasure were muffled into Benny’s shoulder, as Benny shielded both of them from the elements during their surrender to sensual desire. I averted my eyes momentarily, to steady myself, to get that visual out of my mind, but I could still hear Dean’s breath catching. I found myself thinking irrationally that I wished Dean wasn’t doing this.

I knew my punishment was correct. I needed to be here in Purgatory. I was willing to do my atonement here. However, I believed it should be without this human behavior, this lust, this need. I had barely gotten used to lust, in particular Dean’s, on Earth. I didn’t understand what would possess them to wish to engage in carnal desires here, of all places.

“Dean,” I revealed myself from the shrubs that had shielded my presence.

“Shit!” Dean said, and scrambled out from under Benny.

“ _Merde_!” Benny swore, and climbed off Dean.

I had purposefully, unkindly interrupted their sensual activity, but it seemed more inappropriate to not let them know I was here.

“Look, Cas,” Dean started, as he wriggled into his jeans. “I get it. Not the best way for you to find out. We were keeping the sex stuff out of your sight.”

I watched as they both tidied their clothing, and especially when Dean pushed his hand down the front of his pants to readjust his genitals before fastening his pants again. I had done that a few times in my own vessel, when things didn’t rest where they needed to on their own accord. Residing in a human vessel certainly was a lot of work.

“I can handle the sex stuff, Dean,” I told him. He always treated me like a child, while I was incomparably older than he. It had never made any sense. “I don’t believe you should consort with a vampire, though.” There. It had to be said.

Benny growled at me, fangs coming down half way.

“Hold it, Benny,” Dean put a hand on the creature’s stomach, as if to keep him from attacking me.

I was so much stronger than Benny that the act was downright laughable, but I wasn’t given to laughter. That was a human thing.

“Cas didn’t mean to start anything,” Dean told his vampire.

I considered what I meant. “I aim to protect Dean,” I stated to the vampire. “He is in my charge. If it becomes necessary, I will protect him from your kind.” I took several steps closer as I spoke and stopped within striking range of Benny.

Dean addressed the vampire again, instead of me. “Steady…” His voice had gone so low now, it had that fantastic rumble that I irrationally enjoyed.

“You believe you’re protecting Dean, _créature du ciel_?” Benny drawled at me.

I didn’t want to converse with him, I wanted Dean to talk to me. But Dean seemed only to have eyes for Benny and it infuriated me.

It all fell into place now. The sneaking off, the whispers, the knowing looks I couldn’t decipher. Human things. Dean was doing human things with a vampire of his own free will.

That offended me deeply. My Dean, tainted by a monster of the dark. I had not done a good job of protecting Dean if this was the result. I had failed to safeguard him, here in Purgatory, after all the misery I had created on Earth for him.

I nodded and spared Benny a glace, because in essence he was right. “I should have stayed with Dean and guided him. I believed I was doing the right thing at the time. You both know full well I’m a shining beacon for all evil things here. Sooner or later they are all coming for me.”

The big physical presence that was Benny pushed up against Dean’s hand, then against Dean himself. I noted Dean allowed it, as if he were used to it for a long time now. Benny wrapped his arm around the precious human in my charge, eliciting feelings from my vessel that I didn’t know how to name.

“You were right to keep your neon ass away from my _chéri_ , Hot Wings. He was better off without you. I’ve been taking care of him for a year, without anything like the endless trouble that you’ve rained down on us since you been along.”

Dean pushed Benny away irritably, and there was curious gratification in that sight.

“I ain’t your damsel. Either of you. In case the two of you forgot all of a sudden, I’m the one pulling both of your asses out of this frying pan.”

Both Benny and I looked at Dean. For once, I believed the monster and I were in agreement.

Benny said to Dean, “ _Mon chéri_ , Purgatory ain’t no place for a human, you know that. Without me, you won’t make it.”

“Dean,” I had to correct him, knowing I was the better candidate to save Dean, “Although Benny is right that you need help, having intimate relations with a vampire isn’t the answer.”

Dean had a hard look on his face. “I did just fine without you, Benny.” Then he looked at me, “I crossed just about half of Purgatory pinning you down – _and_ I found you – so don’t you tell me that I can’t cut it on my own. There’s no splitting up until we get back to Earth and that’s final.”

Dean pushed away from both of us, grabbed his crude but curiously effective axe and stalked off.

Benny moved closer, until he towered over me. He had no concept that to a celestial being such as me, the corporeal size of Earth bound beings had no intimidating effect. I glared back.

“ _Vous l'aimez_ ,” he stated. It wasn’t a question.

Yes, I loved Dean.

During my contemplative time in Purgatory I had discovered a few insights about myself. Angels weren’t programmed to do any self-reflection, but my time on Earth, mingling with humans, and especially the enigmas Sam and Dean Winchester, had changed me. I had to admit that now. And with that change had come attachment, love. Emotions that weren’t part of the plan for Angels.

“I love him,” I stated, for the first time out loud, more to try on what it felt like, than to satisfy Benny’s curiosity. “Do you feel love, Vampire?” I rather doubted it.

He smiled at my question and stepped away, packing up his own weapons from the spot next to where I had found them together, where they had made love.

I imagined making love with Dean. I thought about wrapping him up in my wings, holding him close, whisking him off to safety. I wished it could be possible, but I believed beyond all doubt that Dean would never allow it.

“Loves comes easy to the likes of me, Feathers,” Benny said, and his smile was still there, hiding some secrets I couldn’t guess at. Dean would probably see the best in that smile, but I couldn’t trust him.

Vampires were a danger to humans. I saw no gray to work with. Still, Benny had taken good care of Dean, even I had to admit that. Dean was alive, and Benny knew the way to the portal. Benny could potentially save Dean. I’d be indebted to him if that ever came to pass. I needed Dean to be safe, so I could continue my penance in Purgatory without fearing for Dean’s life.

I granted that Benny could conceivably be acting out of love or desire. “Dean says he will take you back to Earth, Vampire. How am I supposed to trust you won’t kill him when you get there?”

He outright grinned at that. “You don’t. Trusting anyone is the absolute shortest way to gettin’ your shiny behind killed.”

I agreed with that. “I don’t trust you,” I reported.

“Good,” he drawled, moving to get going after Dean.

“But I want what you have,” I heard myself add. That was unplanned, reckless. I hadn’t intended to open myself up to a monster.

Benny stopped, then turned to me, this time with a calmer expression, as if he were truly interested. “Now, what could an angel of Heaven possibly envy a vampire damned to Purgatory for?”

I swallowed. I breathed in, even though autonomic bodily functions were completely unnecessary to an angel’s vessel. Then I found the voice I knew my vessel possessed. “Dean.”

A disconcerting noise came from the direction that Dean had stalked off to. We both heard it at the same time, and reacted instantly.

Benny ran like a bat out of Hell while I activated my wings, but I couldn’t teleport. There was only one reason why I couldn’t fly, and I feared for Dean’s life.

“Benny!” I yelled after him, while I started running myself. “Leviathan!”

I arrived to see Benny fighting off one on his way to where Dean was, in a rugged area with trees, bushes and loose rocks that made the ground unsteady to navigate. Two leviathans were circling my human, while he was being tackled by two others, one sweeping Dean’s legs out from under him, while the other had him engaged in hand to hand combat. Dean’s weapon had been flung my way, and I grabbed it as I ran right into the heat of the battle. I was just a moment behind Benny, both of us scrambling to save Dean, when I saw one Leviathan raking its claws clear across his chest. Dean fell down hard as his mortal blood splattered onto the leviathan’s arms.

My human was sprawling on the ground, groaning, when Benny chopped the first leviathan’s head off by the neck, black sludge spraying most of his clothes and everything in the immediate vicinity. Then Benny turned to grab the second leviathan off Dean. I used my momentum to jump over both Dean and the dead leviathan. I swung Dean’s axe at the momentarily restrained victim that Benny pulled up for me and cut its head off, before I landed next to Benny. We were now both drenched in black goo.

Dean curled up into a ball at our feet, panting, but making no sound, dark red smearing most of his torso by now. He was hurt badly.

Both Benny and I swung outwards, keeping Dean between us, as the second set of leviathans came at us. They were dumb enough to each pick one of us instead of a coordinated attack, which was lucky. I swung Dean’s axe once, but too early and missed. Meanwhile I saw Benny succeed on the first try with his. Then I slashed low with my weapon, along the leviathan’s middle, leaving a huge black gap, which stopped his attack in its tracks. I ducked as I saw Benny swing high and lunge for the monster’s neck.

The leviathan dropped to the ground in two pieces, the spreading black slop mingling with three other growing pools of blackness, tinged by an alarming touch of red.

“Dean!” I grabbed at him, finding he was struggling with consciousness, and his blood was flowing. I immediately moved to lift him out of the black bloodbath, and found my wings were working again now that the leviathans were dead. “Your love spot,” I yelled at Benny, and blipped us out of there.

Dean groaned loudly as I lay him down in the soft area that he had chosen earlier for his lovemaking with Benny. It was without a doubt the most comfortable place here for humans, I had to admit. Within moments the soft soil was turning red as Dean bled from the stomach area. He was starting to have trouble breathing, so I had to work fast.

I needed to see where the blood was coming from, so I ripped the buttons off Dean’s shirt in one pull, and tore his t-shirt open. There was a gash along his neck, which was dripping blood slowly but surely, and there was a tear across his belly, which was oozing the darkest red that chilled my vessel’s bones.

As I heard Benny run up to us, I readied my Grace for healing Dean.

“Dean!” Benny fell on his knees next to Dean on the opposite side and cradled his head, brushing dirt off his cheek and wiping some black leviathan ooze off his brow.

Dean groaned weakly from being jarred and his movements were growing faint. Perhaps the vampire could be useful.

“Hold him,” I instructed, using my grace first on the gash at Dean’s neck, fearing that any wound in such a delicate place would be the greater threat to his life. It was also the easiest to fix quickly.

Benny was positioning himself to sit behind Dean, drawing him up on his lap. Dean’s now glassy eyes were sliding closed and the vampire had to shield his eyes from the healing light of my Grace by slinging his own arm over his face. He bent over Dean, to protect them both from the light that no doubt would be painful to the human eye as well. I was aware it would hurt a vampire’s heightened sensitivity to light even more, not to mention Angelic Grace burning so close to his dark nature, boiling the creature’s cold blood.

“Sorry,” I said, barely meaning it, while I finished the smaller task of Dean’s neck and preparing the larger task of the gash in his abdomen. “It is the light of Heaven.”

Dean had passed out in the brief moments during my treatment of his neck wound. I might have underestimated his wounds on his torso, which were still oozing blood ominously. It was clear I had a much tougher job to do on the rest of his injuries.

Benny reemerged when my first wave of Grace died down, and I glanced briefly up at him when I noticed he was looking at me. He was holding Dean protectively close, like the precious gift that I knew – we both knew – Dean was.

“Don’ pay me no mind, Angel.” I noted the sincerity in his words, and before I got back to the task at hand, I saw Benny had his fingers carefully at Dean’s throat, where the main artery was. “He’s fading fast. You keep right on going. Save him, please.”

I didn’t need to look at Benny to know what the tender worry in his voice was already telling me. And I had no time to look up again. I needed to pinpoint the source of Dean’s internal injury. He was still bleeding, and would not last much longer.

Humans could die in Purgatory, I assumed, especially since Dean hadn’t died to get here, like the lost souls and monsters who belonged here. I took comfort in knowing that Heaven would take Dean in, should it come to that, and he’d be welcome and happy there. But I was selfish enough to wish him in the realm of the living for just a little longer, even if I would never meet him again once he escaped Purgatory.

My duty had always been to protect him, and I would stop at nothing to keep Death away from Dean for as long as possible.

“There.” I had found the source of the bleeding. I would need a great deal more Grace for this injury as it was deep and complicated. “Shield your eyes,” I warned Benny, and set my healing efforts loose on Dean, lighting up his abdomen, his chest, and I even saw his bones glow for a moment there, when my Grace reached its pinnacle.

The vampire had his head turned into Dean’s hair, both arms protectively hugging Dean to him, and grunted his pain, rocking slightly back and forth as my Grace must be torturing Benny in ways I could not afford to spend time speculating about.

I actually felt sorry for the vampire this time, because I knew he was going through this agony to comfort Dean. Despite myself, I imagined him being so close to Angel Grace must feel akin to being burned alive.

I sensed Dean’s body coming together again as God had designed it, and let out a sigh of relief. I knew I could patch the last little things up as I withdrew my healing fire slowly from Dean’s body.

A moan escaped Dean’s mouth.

“Is he conscious?” I asked.

Benny ducked out, squinting in the low light, eyes looking red and tearing and his skin badly sunburned. He checked Dean’s pulse again at the neck. “No.” He used his free hand to grab my shoulder. “But he’s steady. You saved him. _Ange, je vous suis infiniment reconnaissant_.”

It was what Sam would’ve said, what Sam would’ve done. I could not believe that Benny would feel as much for Dean as Sam did. He was only a vampire.

“I didn’t do it for you,” I said gruffly. “But you’re welcome.”

“I get that,” Benny said, that strange smile appearing again, the one that said he knew things that I didn’t know. Dean had that smile sometimes too, as had Sam. Perhaps it was a human thing. After all, vampires had been humans once.

Benny went back to cradling Dean.

“He’s lost much blood,” I told Benny. Since nothing grew in Purgatory, we wouldn’t be able to find him any nourishment to regain his strength. This place was the most hostile to humans imaginable, apart from Hell. Purgatory hadn’t been created for humans to reside in. “He needs to rest up in order for his body to replenish his own blood.”

The vampire whispered, “I’d give anything to give him mine.”

My Grace flared back up in my eyes with my sudden fury at his suggestion. The little patch under the tree was glowing, my wings stretching out high to either side of me, before I could even form words. “You turn him, Vampire, and your banishment to Purgatory is the least you’ll have to worry about!”

Benny lifted his head, the light of my angelic fire bounding off the glistening tracks on his face, outlining the tears he’d been shedding for Dean without my notice. “Turn him? I wan’ _mon amour_ to live, not change him!”

He met my glowing eyes without fear. Benny seemed more affected by the thought of losing Dean than by the possibility of being smited by an Angel of the Lord.

“Stand down, creature of Heaven,” he said, silent tears rolling down the dirt on his face. “I’d gladly give my life for him, the truest of men, salt of the Earth. Have you still not got that through your thick skull?”

I didn’t doubt he spoke the truth. I brought my wings and Grace down.

“I hadn’t realized,” I admitted.

Could a vampire truly love?

I looked at Dean, held safely and tenderly in the creature’s arms. This monster who used to be a man, he understood human emotions, he understood Dean. He loved Dean.

I reached for the hand of the human in my charge, whom I’d healed, but who needed to recuperate on his own power now, and I knew I loved Dean the same way. The human way.

“I would give my life for him too,” I admitted, in a wave of unstoppable emotion.

I was startled by my own confession.

Benny met my eyes once again, and there was a different understanding visible within his depth. I had not expected to meet a kindred spirit in this realm, nor ever in a creature of darkness.

“I’m glad Dean found you,” I told him, finally. “Thank you for keeping him alive, thus far.”

Benny nodded gently. He felt Dean’s neck and chest, worry crossing his face again. “He needs warmth to rest properly.”

Apart from the tree and the soft cover on the ground, there was no warmth anywhere that I could think of. No caves, no convenient overgrowths to sleep under. This was Purgatory, unforgiving and harsh.

“You must do it,” Benny told me.

“Do what?”

“My blood’s cold, I ain’t got no body heat to share. You got the fire of Heaven inside you. You must hold him, lie down with him.”

I had no idea how to do that. I had never lain with a human before, or any creature of that shape and size. I looked at Benny blankly.

“Here,” he motioned for me to take his place. “Cradle him, keep him warm.”

Benny gently passed Dean to me, and when I had him lying against my chest, Benny arranged Dean’s hips and legs to lie in a relaxed position.

Dean stirred as he was being moved from one caretaker to another. His eyes fluttered open a bit, revealing a burning, feverish green. “Sam?” he asked, looking towards where there was no one.

“We are here. You’re safe,” I said, hoping to soothe Dean. “You lost a lot of blood. You need to rest. Please sleep.”

“Sam?” Dean asked again with eyes that didn’t recognize us.

He started to struggle, wriggling away from me, but I didn’t let him roll off me.

“Where’s Sam?!”

Benny was also dealing with a suddenly unwilling patient, pinning Dean’s lower body down with his strong, undead legs. He snuggled up close to Dean. I assumed in an attempt to provide comfort for my human, so I allowed it.

“Dean,” Benny said in a gentle drawl, getting in close to Dean’s face, “You gotta rest, babe. You’re in bad shape, there. The Angel and I’re takin’ care of you.”

But Dean was struggling against all the restraints we were imposing upon him, probably because he was Dean and he didn’t know it was us and for his own good. He called out again, “Sam!” He was definitely disoriented and didn’t understand us.

I didn’t want to create more strain on his body, as we could not get through to him to lie still. I saw no other option left to us given the circumstances, so I placed two fingers gently to his forehead and induced rest. Dean sighed as he fell asleep, all tension subsiding in his body and his head lolled against Benny’s shoulder.

There we were, all three of us, huddled together. I had never before held a human like this. Normally I was a tool, a hammer or a fix-it, and once I had performed my task, I left and moved on to the next problem to solve. No attachments.

I had failed at no attachments from the moment I had encountered Dean’s soul in Hell. My thoughts, ethics and needs had irrevocably changed.

I was too far off the true path of an Angel, knowing that no amount of penance in Purgatory would get me back on track. For I knew now that lying on the soft ground here, with a human leaning against me, cradled in my arms, and a vampire who was providing half a blanket for our human, was the only thing that was right here in this land of abominations.

I kept my Grace at bay while I summoned my wings, and folded them over us, like a shadowy tent. We would be less visible to the creatures of this land and my power could warm the cave I had created.

I was surprised to feel contentment at having the vampire who loved Dean here to share this moderately safe shelter.

“Benny,” I whispered. I saw him as more than a monster now. I could actually perceive his humanity, which – somehow – he had retained as a vampire. I didn’t know how this was possible, but I could not deny the truth as it was shown before me. “I apologize. I have seen you have a heart, you can love. You do love.”

“Why, Angel, miracles never cease,” Benny murmured pleasantly, all his focus still on Dean.

I nodded. That was a profound truth. “Thank God.”

“Well, I dunno quite about Him. Seems to me, He’s never much around when us poor slobs need Him.”

Also a profound truth.

“Perhaps He sent you to save Dean,” I philosophized. I doubted it myself. I had not seen any sign that God was taking an interest in any of us since I had been stationed on Earth.

“Well, I can’t say nothin’ to that. And what’d He send you to do here?” Benny asked.

“It was my own stupidity that landed me here. But I believe I am where I should be.”

Benny was silent for a few minutes. Then, “There ain’t no tellin’ if you can fit through the human escape hatch,” he said finally.

I agreed. “If God made the portal for humans, then it won’t allow me through. Dean wants it to work, but I don’t believe it will.”

“I don’t neither,” The vampire said without malice – just the truth.  

Benny stroked Dean’s peaceful face. Dean would be okay, as long as his body got the chance to build more blood. There was no nourishment that we could offer him. There was no eating in Purgatory, no game, no edible plants. It was no place for a human to be.

“He’ll get better, with time. But eventually Dean will die here,” I told him. “He must be returned to Earth.”

“That’s the plan, Hot Wings.”

“I will stay,” I informed him, knowing Dean couldn’t hear and protest at the moment. “I’m too dangerous to him here.”

“He won’t leave without you. If’n you disappear again, he’ll just cross the whole o’ Purgatory to find you, you know that.”

I sighed. “Dean has a great sense of loyalty.”

“Call it what pleases you, Angel,” Benny said, shaking his head, but his attention was only on Dean.

Dean was sleeping. We would make sure he could rest, so his body would grow strong again.

“I must accompany him - you both - to the portal,” I concluded. “As soon as Dean is ready to travel. It’s the only way.”

“Castiel,” Benny said, scooting closer to Dean, even though he had no warmth to give the human. All the actual heat was coming from me, warming them both up. “How can you love so selflessly?”

Benny had no way of knowing my love for Dean was far from selfless. “I have much to make up for.”

“Is that what it’s like to be an angel? Loving without taking?”

I nearly scoffed at the thought. “I am the worst example of an angel. I have taken from him – from everything and everyone – too much.”

I couldn’t even think back to breaking Sam’s wall, to trying to be God, to being in a partnership with Crowley and setting the leviathan free upon the Earth.

“I hurt him, betrayed his trust,” I admitted freely. I was here to do penance. “I can never make up for it.” And that was why I couldn’t leave.

“I hear ya, Angel.”

“Please,” I pleaded with him. “Take Dean to Sam on Earth. In all probability, I shall not make it back there before Dean is long gone, if I ever do find a way out of Purgatory. Sam will know what to do for Dean. If he loves you,” I strangely needed to swallow again, feeling my breath catch in my throat, “be good to him.”

It wasn’t enough, but it was all I had right now. The respite from Dean’s unrelenting insistence to bring me through the portal was welcomed by me while he slept. This was my only chance to make a pact with my enemy in both romance and the large scheme of things.

The vampire who loved Dean.

As we were all lying here, huddled together, I realized for the first time what the expression ‘strange bedfellows’ meant. I never would’ve thought such an expression could pertain to me.

I continued, “I will get you both to the portal, you must do the rest. Take care of him for me on Earth. Give him a long and happy life.”

Benny turned to me, and there was so much heat in his eyes that I drowned in them for a moment. “If he’ll have me, I will.”

Dean would never accept our pact, but he need never know.

It sufficed that Benny knew. Benny knew everything.

“Someday, Hot Wings, you should make him understand how much you love him. Dean needs to know.”

I felt my lips form a gentle smile. Was it the same one Benny had given me a few hours ago? The one that spoke of volumes of knowledge, but could voice none in words. “If I make it back within Dean’s lifetime, perhaps I will.”

That wouldn’t be for many years at any rate, as there was no angel portal here, and the leviathans might just get me first. I could see justice in that.

“When he’s near his last breath on Earth,” I requested of Benny, “please tell him how blessed I feel to have been allowed to witness his life. How much he changed my very existence.”

Benny answered slowly, as if he’d just realized something. “He doesn’ know?”

I shook my head, feeling a different heat burning behind my eyes. “I believe not.” I put a hand on the vampire’s cool hand, which rested on Dean’s cheek. I focused on Dean’s beautiful, peaceful face. “But you do, Benny. I think he did the same for you.”

Benny sighed deeply. “I had just started to dig people again, when I landed myself here. Then I needed to forget all about the milk of human kindness, _immediatement_ , y’know? Not much use for humanity around here. But when I heard about him,” Benny stroked Dean’s ripped shirt, and pulled the button up shirt closed again, even though I had warmed Dean up enough to not need any clothes. “I wanted to get out of here. That’s all I wanted, to go back home.”

I felt that smile again, knowing what happened next. “Then you met Dean.”

“Yeah,” Benny laughed from the belly. A joyously human sound that I hadn’t known I had missed so much this past year. The sound of a happy person. “Ain’t that a twist.”

“Dean was a twist for me too,” I disclosed.

“One of a kind,” Benny agreed. “I mean, any human’d do, you know? I’d subdue him and attach myself to him. Easy enough to force him to take me through the portal. But not Dean. Tough as nails, this one.”

“He made you appreciate humanity again?” I asked, treasuring the warm body in my arms, and the leisure of being allowed to hold Dean, after all these years.

Perhaps that’s what I’d wanted, when I was watching him sleep back on Earth. Perhaps I should have asked to share his bed, to hold him in the night.

Dean had touched and changed us both.

Benny didn’t hear my thoughts. He said definitively, “Dean is humanity.”

And that was the profound truth.


End file.
